Two Indians Talking :: Partial Humor

While searching on google, I came to know that cheapest call rates on fone are in India.No other provider on any part of earth can talk cheaper then Indians! I think this is because Indians talk the most on earth.At every place we see crowd and always see some one talking.

- In exams invigilators are talking. (Kids have to be silent)
- Two White Uniform Officers on road talking.
- Two friends talking.
- A Girlfriend-boyfriend,new couple,old couple, etc all relationships talking.
- In church,mosque,Temple,Gurudwara etc two naughty kids always talking.
- Near Pyre One explaining other how tragically he/she died or relating this death to his own distant relative.
- Two dealers talking even when customer is standing on his head.

Topics of Talking :-
1) We cant meet for :-
a) After many years - MS/US students/husband to their GF/wife.
b) A1 year - newly engaged couple at distance of 200 + KM.
c) Less then year - Husband on 2-3 month project or Husband in army.
d) Guys to Gals,Guys to guys,Gals to Guys - on vacation of Month.

2) Have you eaten food properly:-
a) Mom to kids.
b) Girlfriend to Boyfriend.
c) Boyfriend to sick Girlfriend or angree Girlfriend,cze in all other cases they know gals eat.
d) Newly married couple - In love.
e) Married couple - Anger,"have made with so much trouble he should eat".
f) Where to meet - to have -lunch,dinner,brekfast etc.

3) Educational :-
a) Writing - assignment,files,home work, etc.
b) He knows better then me let me ask him/her!
c) Meet me in - Canteen, Or any other location.
4) Office :-
a) Where is that - file,folder,etc.
b) Boss - angry,good mood,sick,absent etc.
c) New affair in office ( Read point 1,2,3 ).
d) Task progress report.
e) Meet me in my cabin.

5) Home :-
a) Relatives.
b) Office Insider calls.
c) Assignments,Notes,etc missing data.
d) Confirmation calls - Is tomorrow a holiday,white dress day,meeting etc.
e) Trip plan calls - to agents, experienced relatives, even friend of friend.
f) Girls to - Boyfriend, mom, fiance, etc
g) Coming as guest OR Going as guest to some one`s house.

Only Red is the important thing to talk.There were no other topic found where a man needs to chat, still we Indians use Mobile in almost every work.Almost in 50% of Orkut Indian users have written "Mobile " in "Five things I cant live without ".
Due to presence of mobile in society, average sense of perception has fallen.
Where this over communication will end is still unknown but this is sure that upcoming generations will have to think about its limited usage for their better memory.

Reliance Brother and oil in layman's language

I still remember the news when Reliance discovered oil in Cauvery Basin.All I was thinking was " why did government of India not claim it as a property of " people of India ". Why it belongs to reliance.Later on I also came to know that Ambani bros are calculating it as a millions of dollars of worth.
SO after lot of surfing it come to me as :-
- Reliance India (@ Dhiru bhai`s time) took part in Indian government program of "National Exploration Licence Policy - III "(NELP-III). Where he signed for search of blocks on lottery basis. He was allotted with basins belonging to Cauvery River and near by.

- Dhiru bhai being busy with communication and other things kept the license as future thing.Other companies and government of India kept poking them for following NELP-III norms.

- After his death and property distribution. No one divided the license, also both of them counted it as "useless" and never asked for it.

- Sudden fire in the oil price in market when crude hit 50$/barrel for first time, both bros started looking for options to get the drilling started in oil areas.

- They both saw the license at their dead-man`s table. Instead of fighting with each other, they started "exploring oil " both claiming single license as their own property.

- By the time Reliance could get any thing Cairn India had started its wells producing more then 2.2 million barrels of oil per day, also they were following norms so they were allowed to sit in NELP -VII phase where as Reliance was allowed to attend but not to bid as they were black listed at that time.( We all can imagine how reliance managed to attend the NELP-VII)

- Both brothers were drilling but getting nothing. At the same time, some how, they launched IPO of their own company RPL and RNRL separately.

- Before launching they decided to buy Oil wells outside India under UN norms so that they can show in India that their company is in profit and IPO is not a big issue.In this both brothers agreed that they will not buy any well on individual cost but will buy through RIL which was their dad`s company. So they both agreed and in this game also they lost two things.
a) UN-"food for oil" scam involved RIL.
b) High cost poor oil quality oil wells.

- Although crude price in world helped them alot at that instance.

- After UN food scam and Indian government ban on NELP VII. Kokilaben must have stopped both of them from this hapth-hazard caused to her husband`s company RIL. Due to which RIL, RNRL and RPL went to silent stand-by.

- On January 2007 ONGC found oil near Cauvery Basin in patches which was not worthy. Reliance brother`s fresh wound was again pinched by this. They instead of fighting, jointly agreed to drill it with name of RIL, just to prove it to maa(kokilaben).

- Dhiru Bhai did it again with RIL and Block number "Dhiru bhai 32 " gave a clear signal of presence of oil on July 2007.

- After math showed that there is oil of around 12 million barrels per day for 15 years approx.

- Reliance purchased 15 various sectors from ONGC and later on in all of them Oil was found. This oil was not present till they were owned by ONGC.

After this successful exploration reliance become largest oil exploration company !!!!!!!!

-Shobhit Gurumurti
Ex-Reliance Mechanical Engineer

Lame Media Shame Media

If, for instance, we believe that 10 political disgraces of India are right as published.Then why the people accused of that are still respected in society.Are people really preying them?

Distorted media has now become a method of earning.If you have 1 crore and wanna make it 10 crore. Start media channel.Publish few truths and you will receive your share in every bribe every central minister is gaining.

Not a single common man will ever mourn over death of leaders like - Any Gandhi (Other then Mahatma), P.V. Narasimha Rao, Lalu Prasad Yadav, etc. But you will always see Media tail legging these dead ones.

Its like 25 years a rich lady of Gandhi family become PM of poor India.Killed several.Made several mistakes that made Indian public more appart from eachother.And later on was assassinated by her own guards.

Still media calls her as "if she was with us India would have become haven ."

Its time for public of India to re think the consequences on which they are being governed and re establish the media houses slowly becoming their eyes.

Danik Bhaskar not responding

After reading the third editorial of Chetan Bhagat in Dainik bhasker ripped my heart.Only thing that comes in my mind is "how a general man`s newspaper ,Dainik Bhasker,become biased of a person who doesnot live in India.".I wrote the reply to the editorial,email address of Dainik Bhasker, as mentioned in news paper but all returned is mail delivery failure.So copy of my mail is present in public inorder so that you can read and understand.I do not expect Sir Chetan Bhagat to read this off his busy schedule.But it will be great if some one send it to him.

Date:- 05 /11 / 2009

Sir,
Before I write,I must tell you that I do not hate Chetan Bhagat or Bhasker.All I want to clarify is "Cheta Bhagat to bhasker is like ice-cream with pepper".

I grew up reading Bhasker newspaper.I live in Indore.I am a different student.I read politics and I take " My India very seriously".I had read almost all articles of editorial Bhasker.I am a web-developer so I know what Internet has.I had gone through the constitution of india superficially and I am dam sure that what "Chetan Bhagat " wrote is totally ir-rivalent to any thing in India or Indians.
That guy wrote few novels having porn-touch in it.those books were liked by those who were literate and those who belong to higher middle class to high class society.

Bhaskar is common man`s newspaper.
Reach of it is of more then millions.
Chetan Bhagat passed out of IIM and since then trying to become an NRI.Our bad luck he never become succesful and his books,insted of famous in US/UK,become famous in India.Then recessions and all made him visit India more frequently,where he was worshiped by the upper class and middle class society.

Sir,two things from this point.
1) Chetan Bhagat`s Case:-
read his articles yourself.He talks of things that are not in relation of India or co-relates about India.In India since 2002 Panchayat raj has been established and emphasized.He do not know about them.We all know what a perfect city/country means.Modeling them over India do not make any sense.
Involving facts and figures strengthen the trust over article.His article are plane and not a simple name of any office is involved.

If you still want to make him write for Bhaskar Editorial please message him,"India is a Agr-Based-Nation. People here work harder to protect religion(like it or not).Also, tell him to read about Panchayat raj and panchayat raj system".

2) Do not printed internet:-
We all know what internet is.its same thing as news paper without a paper.As Times of India`s editor wrote "Now is the time for print media to go to next level".It clearly means that print media should not be influnced by any phony born on internet.You have your own system of working all you need is to improve quality not increase number of work force.

I am too young to be harsh on any one.But dam! sure I can have a view.
Apologies to anyone who has been hurt.

Regards,
mayank shukla
indore

Dohe I like

I think you will also like it.

सचिव वैद्य गुरु तीन जो प्रिय बोलाही आस |
राज धर्म तन तीन कर होई बेगाही नाश ||

YMI - Ye Mera India Sher o Shayari

I searched net but I was not able to find the Shers(common hindi verse) spoken in YMI movie.So here is the Sher Shayari of the Movie Ye Mera India

किरण चाहू तो दुनिया के सरे अँधेरे घेर लेते है |
कोई मेरे तरह जी ले तो जीना भूल जायेगा ||


साथ भी छोडा तो कब,जब सब बुरे दिन कट गए |
ज़िन्दगी तुने कहा आकर दिया धोखा मुझे ||

हमें इस चिस्त से उम्मीद क्या थी और क्या निकला |
कहा जाना हुआ था तय कहा से रास्ता निकला ||
खुदा जिनको समझते थे वो शीशा थे न पत्थर थे |
जिसे पत्थर समझते थे वही अपना खुदा निकला ||

जिसने इस दौर के इन्सान किये है पैदा वो मेरा भी खुदा होगा मुझे मंज़ूर नहीं |

अगर टूटे कीसी का दिल ,तो शब् भर आख रोती है |
ये दुनिया है गुलो की जी इसमें काटे पिरोती है ||
हम मिलते है अपने गाओ में दुश्मन से भी इठला कर |
तुम्हारा शहर देखा तो बड़ी तकलीफ होती है ||

तुम्हारे जैसे हमने देखनेवाले नहीं देखे |
जिगर में किस तरह से रंजो ग़म पाले नहीं देखे ||

यहाँ पर जात मजहब का हवाला सबने देखा है|

किसी ने भी हमारे पाओं के छाले नहीं देखे ||

कदम उठने नहीं पाते, के रास्ता काट देता है|
 मेरे मालिक मुझे आखिर तू कब तक आजमाएगा||

मेरी आँखों में आसूं ,तुझसे हम दम क्या कहूं क्या है.
ठहर जाये तो अंगारा है,बह जाये तो दरिया है.

Shail Chaturvedi :: Vision of Arts of India

Surendra Sharma :: Indian humour

Pradeep Chaubey :: Inner Voice of society

ashok chakradhar : Leagend in kavisammelan

Effective Social Transformation would become easier

"The Cemetery or burial should not be at a silent place, or at the corner of the city.It should be done in the center of the city or at the squares of the city.Such an act will let people know that,no-matter how rich they are or poor they are,they all will go to Cemetery one day.
It is because of these out of city Cemeteries man usually forgets this reality and follows money to the extent where realization of real life become zero(shunya)."

-Shri Shri. Tarun Sagar Jee Maharaj (Book: Bitter Truths)

I did not find any flaw in it.I had seen more funerals then marriages or any other happy occasions.I see truth in death only.A rich die or a poor, Cemetery welcomes all equally.It is a place where you can really realize the god`s presence.Even if Scientist die Cemetery has same wide gates open for them.
I still remember when a rich died,mayor of our city spoke for 15 minitues declaring him saint,at same Cemetery another poor family was standing peacefully preying for the peace of their beloved dead one.All my mind is now seeing it as "Cemetery is the only place in world which is equal for all."